We got to Elite 8, and this round is going to be an old fashioned match door knocker slobber.
Start these debates at a party with strangers and the host will kick you out because the mingling will stop and the rage will dissipate the event. If a sports radio program took these topics, brought it up once a week, and let listeners call in and debate, the program would be able to fill every program for the summer with content.
You can walk into any sports bar in the US and there were people shouting at each other from beginning to end. Every remaining debate deserves a win, but in the spirit of this entire framework, something must be the best.
So, do you want to go blank to argue about Biggie and Tupac, Shaq and Kobe, the 1996 Chicago Bulls and the 2016 Golden State Warriors, or one of the remaining arguments? Let us know!
Be sure to visit @Deadspin on Twitter and vote for which argument you’d most like to waste hours of your life yelling at others about. If you want to catch up, check it out full field and sweet 16.
Occupying area #1 for the first time: LeBron James vs. Michael Jordan
For some, the choice is obvious, for others it’s the kind of sports argument that makes you feel like the TV is banging on your head at 10 a.m. Whether you hate or love this classic movie, it will make you feel something.
Michael Jordan is the face of the modern NBA. He took the interest that Magic Johnson and Larry Bird brought into the league in the early 80s and used it to build the first athlete economic empire. The NBA has sold its individual stars to market the games, so Jordan’s agent – David Faulk – has gone a step further with his clients. He wanted Nike to market Jordan as a tennis star. Like a single athlete.
LeBron James had seen the success of this all his life and soon planned to act. He signed a $90 million contract with Nike before signing with the Cleveland Cavaliers. Since then, James has started a fast food pizza restaurant and also owns a production company that remakes both. Space jam and vintage of the early 1990s house party.
These two are real A-list celebrities. Not only famous sports, but also pop culture icons like Michael Jackson, Eddie Murphy, Jack Nicholson, etc. Additionally, one has the highest point-per-game averages in NBA history and the other has the highest point-per-game averages in NBA history. Holds the record for total points scored.
– Stephen Knox
First Take Area #2: iPhone vs. Android
Green bubble versus blue bubble.
Fashion dictates that anything that a person brings out of the house can be considered stylish if paired with flaunting purpose and confidence. However, there are usually some basic requirements.
For a rapper in 2003, that meant wearing a tunic that reached at least mid-thigh. In the early 2010s, jeans were as tight as possible for young people. Who cares if they want to have children later?
The phone was also part of that, but in that era it was mostly young people with Razors and Sidekicks. Today, an iPhone is almost the norm when a man in a tie goes to a business interview. How dare a group chat get smeared by that ugly green bubble web. If you don’t have airpods, can you hear it?
For all those white commas hanging over everyone’s ears at the grocery store, there are still some people who are willing to part with standard procedures. They don’t need facetime, iCloud or a phone slow down down when a new version is released.
Samsung is using its 23rd Galaxy, and the NBA is promoting the new Google Pixel 7 in every game, so there are still many Android users in the general population. Are those people stingy, or are they seeing with a third eye?
– Stephen Knox
Siskel & Ebert Area #1: Cats vs. Dogs
Let’s be a little more creative than the gender divide. You know cat lovers, I know cat lovers, and there are some people who are just cat lovers. But this isn’t any version of a crazy cat person The best in the show Dog phobia is worse. It’s about the animals themselves.
The prettiest dogs are just as amazing as the prettiest cats, and just as much as the ugliest dogs and ugliest cats. I just think your average dog (not puppy, please, practice responsibly for both species) is better than a normal cat. The advantage of cats is less maintenance. You don’t have to take them for walks or take them out often. With dogs, you can take them outdoors, on camping trips, and more. (Probably too much, but again, focus on the animals, not the bad owners.)
I don’t know who won the cat versus dog debate, but I do know who won the journalist versus cat and/or dog fight, so I know how pervasive this argument can be.
– Sean Beckwith
Siskel & Ebert Zone #2: Lionel Messi vs Cristiano Ronaldo
Those who think Cristiano Ronaldo is better than Lionel Messi end up bringing up Ronaldo’s dating story as if it were a reason for controversy. Is it really about who he fucks, or are you fucking him? Don’t judge. Just be open with yourself. Ronaldo is a genetic freak who was made to score goals and serves as a role model for how not to handle the star.
Messi is an artist, a scientist, a genius, but he is a bit short. And that’s where the debate started. The internet has taken this debate to places where it shouldn’t have been discussed, and it has gone beyond the personal sphere for many (mostly Real Madrid and Barcelona fans).
From a pure GOAT point of view, Messi vs. Ronaldo was the best GOAT debate we’ve ever had. The era of men’s tennis is drawing to a close, but Ronaldo and Messi have taken turns winning trophies and titles for nearly two decades.
– Sean Beckwith
Sorry Interruption Zone #8: The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
At the time, Stone Cold was the greatest wrestler ever, at least in terms of his earning potential. He downed his beer, talked nonsense, and did it with the same charisma as anyone. That’s why it’s so alarming when The Rock comes out with the same mark, if not more. It was one of those feuds that kept fans from wanting to pick a side.
We chose, of course, and if you chose The Rock, that’s good for you. It goes without saying who won the post-wrestling career ring, although I feel like things could have been different for Austin if it weren’t for the injury. I mean there’s a chance this debate could still go to Stone Cold, but it depends less on his future actions and more on how much. Black Adam The Champion of the People (but not the Box Office) is in him.
– Sean Beckwith
Sorry Interrupt Zone #3: Chicago Bulls won 72 games vs Golden State Warriors won 73 games
The Golden State Warriors’ 73 wins are the epitome of modern basketball. Defined by the Splash Brothers and Draymond Green’s poetic shadowless moves at the link between his mental and physical heights, they remain the Platon Ideal for modern basketball. The 72-match Chicago Bulls win is the gold standard. Two decades ago, the Chicago Bull Triangle attack starring Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen was the epitome of consistency. In a stagnant, more physical league, Jordan was as automatic from mid-range as anyone had ever been. Fans of each team swear that the other team can’t join the other team’s NBA. Perhaps both are wrong. The Phoenix Suns are proof that the Bulls can still thrive today thanks to their super-efficient mid-range scorers while the analytically superior Golden State scorers will eat through the defences. Tamers are positioned to fight in trenches instead of around endless screens at the perimeter. These contrasting styles of play are ripe for endless debate, which is why there has been so much debate over the years.
– DJ Dunson
McLaughlin Corporation Region 1: Biggie vs. 2Pac
Yes, Tupac Shakur is more famous. Biggie is great play yourself on Martin, but Tupac is an actor capable of owning the film. He’s older than simply a musician. Tupac is a star.
His personality is a force for both good and evil. He can make some really insightful statements about the state of the world, but he’s also gone to prison for sexual assault and drunkenness with an out-of-control personality.
Biggie talks about music, and very few people ever spit better bars into a microphone. We only have two Notorious BIG solo albums. His debut — Ready to die – same quality as Chronic people And illusion. Next up – Life after death – is a strong project but has fallen a bit. As a musician, it’s sometimes hard to go back to the yearning and raw storytelling of a debut album. Unfortunately, we never got to see him try again.
Two young people, leaving too soon, have left an indelible mark on American culture.
– Stephen Knox
McLaughlin Team Area 3: Kobe Bryant vs. Shaquille O’Neal
The biggest competition of the aughts. Forget Ja Rule and 50 Cent or Indianapolis Colts and New England Patriots. After the turn of the century, everyone is watching The Real Housewives of Downtown LA.
A dynamic duo unmatched in the NBA. Two superstars in their MVP play together, Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal. One has a Nintendo 64 game and the other advertises Nestle Crunch Bars and has a pair of sneakers featured at Famous Footwear.
When they play together, they dominate, but to say that their relationship has had its “frozen” moments is like saying that February in Minnesota is fast. Bryant didn’t appreciate O’neal’s off-season coaching, and O’Neal didn’t appreciate it any time his name got into Bryant’s mouth.
If the Portland Trail Blazers can pull off a few more shots in Game 7 of the 2000 Western Conference Finals, those two could end up being the most disappointing duo in NBA history. Instead, the Blazers were exactly like Tim Tebow in practice and a dynasty was born.
The people of Los Angeles firmly sided with Bryant and have been for a long time. For the rest of the county, this is definitely a “picking situation.
– Stephen Knox
